Here’s this week’s Buzzword Bingo round-up:
Embed and spread (verb)
To release a form of invasive parasite that leads to a crescendo of vile, haemorrhagic exudations across the social networking platform of your choice! Yes, you too can smear every surface you touch with an embeddable Flash widget that leaves you shaking spastically and puking up your own blood to die slowly in a pool of faecal matter. Only works on Facebook.
JFDI, a (abbrev. “Just Fucking Do It”), alt. JDI (abbrev. “Just Do It”)
An abortion of a sentiment, flagging in crimson your intention to ignore rational thought and plough ahead with some moronic insanity on the basis that someone more senior in the drone hierarchy has, in their ignorance, deemed it expedient to do so. It’s made worse by the attempt to give it some form of credence via it’s pseudo-1990’s business acronym. Thoroughly disgusting.
The tail is wagging the dog (phrase)
Used to indicate that the end result of a project or thought is driving the origin or base need to change. Also used to indicate the sort of person who genuinely believes it’s better to get an opaque phrase out there that they believe makes them sound more credible than it is to articulate clearly that there’s a fucking obvious problem that needs to be sorted out, ironically undermining their intention.
Treeshaker, a (noun)
A document used to provoke debate or conversation on a subject.
Like a sad twig, replete with feathers and the totemized remains of slaughtered enemies, use of the word treeshaker signifies a document that mirrors the Shaman’s rattle; the hoped for power contained within lies only in the mind of the bearer. The item itself remains devoid of value.
Tissue session, a (noun)
A meeting in which everyone sits around, verbally tossing off in to their meeting notes or “tissues”, generally resulting in the creative equivalent of a pile of crispy Kleenex. Passive aggression is the order of the day here, it being far more important to achieve petty inter-agency one-up-manship than it is to solve the problem at hand.
